Resistance…

Resistance is like a death, including its phases. We go through the motions of shock, denial, anger, depression and hopefully ending in peace. Getting stuck on one phase then trading it for another, sometimes to never fully gain acceptance.

Acceptance… The power of fully processing, blessing and releasing. A beautiful growth to our spirit and an act of self love. 
Everyday, with or without our knowledge we are resisting. Our emotions, our thoughts, our desires, our choices, our loved ones, and even ourselves.  

Buried deep inside our moral compass guides us accordingly and we act upon what is programmed into our brains from a young age.  

Sitting on our hands, holding our tongues, bitting our nails, smoking too many cigarettes reacting to everyone and anything that challenges our very being.  

The exposure can be defeating especially if we are not aware of the resistance that is innately in us. An intense and raw activation is triggered; and here comes the self sabotage.  

Self sabotage… The pain pulsing through our veins become unbearable and we medicate. Some with drugs, some with money, some with being a people pleaser and never rock the boat for fear of being rejected. 

Rejection… The bastard that lies to us and keeps us locked in the waiting bin of being accepted, when all we need to do is accept ourselves. Then it all boils down to choice.
Choice… Something we are given by grace and always have. No matter what your status, religion or sex is WE ALWAYS HAVE CHOICE. Choices to break out of the norm and become what we are afraid to become. Choices that will change us to our very core and expose our very truths. Choices that keep us chained to our lives but then can set us free.  
If we choose to resist ourselves, we are resisting our god given right of choice. If we choose to love, honor and be true to ourselves, we may become more than we could ever imagine. 

Gravity…

Gravity, it pulls you in close to me
The force that only love and can compare to relativity

Gravity, appearing soft with intensity

Oh it overflows, filled with garden groves

Hidden treasure troves, everyone wants to hold

Gravity, the push and pull temps me invisibly

With a force only my heart can see.

Gravity, my senses are awakened to the ether creeping beyond the fences

A plethora of memories stacked upon 3’s

Waiting presently in the ether ever so graciously

Gravity, the orbit remains unfazed, unchanged, unacknowledged and under paid for the time spent pacing, searching for an end

Wondering aimlessly in the desert within

Resolution…

Bear all, hand it over
Away with the wreckage of yesterday’s woes

As a new year approaches

2016 has been a plethora of endings, realizations and new beginnings

Finding ones self centered in who you are meant to become 

No excuses nor ignorance can save you from moving forward 

Yet there are always “would if’s” we seem to hang onto instead of jumping into our decisions

Stand at the edge of your doom and turn it into a beautiful bloom

For we always have ‘choice’ no matter who you are or where you are from

Don’t limit your beliefs that can keep you from choosing your next endeavor 

Believe in yourself and that God always finds a way to show you the light and where you belong. 

Was it you?

Today began with a chess game I needed to make a move on

I was caught up, distracted while flags were being portrayed with your discretion 

I was conflicted, addicted to finding the fantasy with all requirements intact

My heart jumped back as I pulled tight  on the reins and engaged in concern

My heart was screaming for your love but my mind was playing tricks on me

Creating a shadow that cast over me while I was a girl

I retreated back to my cloud not knowing what to do next

My angel purring at my feet filling me with unconditional love

I thought, was I not able to love without conditions?

My heart sank into a reservoir that I stumble into before I get to love 
I bite off more than I can chew let alone wanting my cake too

I cannot operate on fantasy that only leaves me needing more

No longer will I put myself on the back burner from my own worst enemy… Me.

Cuore Spezzato…

The day is asleep and the moon is thriving

My heart soon weeps for the absence of you

Brought up and out of my shell now I see only a hell without you here

We’ve built a life full of curiosity and lived it well together

Now I’m left standing curious how this will go while the river rushes over me

Trying to pull me under I let go a float to discover I have much left to wonder 

The water surrounds me and its cooling to my skin

Scary the same water that brings life can take it again 

Uncertainty becomes certain

To which I promise I will never be left a victim 

Water runs dry…

I feel the weight of all the loss today
My head is sore and my eyes are tired

The morning run started with tension

That held me down each step 

Relax your shoulders….

My jawline ached as if I grinned my teeth all night

Relax your shoulders.. Breathe.. One step at a time

I pace myself to David bowie and sang Black Country rock

You never know you might find it here…

Relax your shoulders.. Fuck my head hurts

My eyes are in pain over the stupid light on the phone

Close your eyes

Breathe..

Inhale all the bullshit weighing me down

And let it go..

Set it on fire, kick it, scream at it

It doesn’t deserve your heartache any longer

You deserve to sip wine in the bathtub while soaking your tired bones

Breathe…

Relax your jaw…

Let it go…

Let the water surround you and mend the worry

Shhhh… Don’t worry

I will take care of your heart 

Wash away the day and know always to say

I am worth it..